Buttholes Roasting on an Open Fire

I made an impulse buy the other day.  I was in the grocery store and walked by a display of these.

"Mmm, I bet they taste like Christmas!" I thought.  "This will be the best $1.15 of the grocery run!"

When I got in the car, I opened the bag and immediately my nose was bombarded with the pungent odor of butthole.

"Why do these smell like rectum?!" I said out loud.  No one answered me but I still wanted to know.

Against my better judgement, I took a chestnut out of the bag.  Not only did it smell like anus, but it looked like one too.

Did I accidentally buy a bag of monkey bits?!  What is this, China?

They weren't even the same color as on the package!

I'm sorry, did you want something pumpkin-colored that tastes like Christmas?

Because all we make are smelly brown cornholes.

"Well," I thought, "I spent all that money on them, I might as well try it and see what it's like.  Maybe I'll be surprised."

      

Nope.